Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming...

 I have decided that until I am blogging somewhat regularly again, I need to think less and type more.


(Man, can I think too much.)


So for a now the point is not necessarily what I write, just that I write  SOMETHING.  This brings me to Seven Quick Takes Friday.

Or at least it was Friday when I started-That makes it still count.

(And if you dare to get all technical on me, I will just play with Time/Date thing and make it whatever time I want. So there. )

1. I was looking for pictures to accompany my post and realized that most of our quick real-life snap shots involve us eating. I  will be the first to attest that these five kids think they need to be fed regularly (unrealistic, entitled children), but isn't there anything else we do that might be considered photo-worthy? Anyone willing to tell me I am not the only one who will be prefacing all of her photos with 'This is so-and-so eating a such-in-such' when it comes time to humiliate her children in front of the opposite sex? Someone?

2.  And speaking of photos. I can not get over how much Eilidh and Silas look like they could be twins in the one of them enjoying their first-frozen-yogurt-ever (See! I followed the formula! This is so-and-so...)! They would hate for me to say that, but even with three years difference, they are so much alike; Best enemies, you know the sort.

3. And speaking of Silas.  He will be having his first over-nighter tomorrow. Going to Grandmas...wants me to go with him.

Swoon.

His sisters always get to go, so this time is just for him. In addition to seeing Yogi Bear, he has high hopes of being able to cross off 'own and master harmonica' from his bucket-list. Grandma, just for the record, I warned you not to mention the T-O-Y store.

4. My youngest daughter can not both eat and sit down at the same time; Primal urge to always be ready to flee from those who might steal her food, perhaps. At any rate, I am not sure if said child has figured out which is worse yet: Her food being lifted from her when she is not paying attention or her head meeting the tile below the chair that she is suppose to be sitting on. 

5. Someone around here will be turning TWO this week! This certain someone can have birthday cake to her heart's content too... but only if she sits down.


6. I find February to be a loverly month for a birthday because 'February' is just so stinking cute. I think this is due to Valentine's Day and to pink doilies and felt/paper hearts in particular. 


7. Is it odd that the last thing I associate with Valentine's Day is romance? No PG or R rating here, just cuteness and cupcakes, that is what I'm about. 


There I go again about food.

A Little Dirt

We were just hours into our first day living in our newest home when I realized that my children might never be clean again. 


There was dirt here.
Dirt like I had never known before.


Not the kind of dirt that knows its place either;
This dirt was bold and rose in clouds that followed you around, taller with every step, until you suspected its' presence and looked over your shoulder, paranoid.

'Huh? Funny...I could have sworn I was being followed?'


See what I mean?
Sneaky dirt.


Anytime one of my five kids popped back inside from playing with their new BFFs (which you know was like, every two minutes), the dirt would barge in too. 

It was sneaky and fast and I could not keep up with it for the life of me.


Before I knew it, I was chasing its' tracks through out the house: mounds on the floor,  handprints up the stairwell, anywhere they might set their little hind ends.

Getting the kids all dressed for the day and then out to the car without one of them falling victim to attack became my primary mission. Yet, little did I know,  Sneaky Dirt had a friend.


That is right-


 bring on 


The Rain.

Now it is not as though I never let my children get dirty. I love the occasional what-the-hay-just-go-for-it, but every time a young'n of mine needs fresh air? 


Really? 

And we live in Central Oregon where the rain accumulation is barely worth mentioning, so it only stands to reason that someone must have told it all to land at my house.


 I try not to panic. 


I try not to let the words  'I hate this place' out past the gate where my children might overhear them- This place that was suppose to make things easier for us. I try not to let them past, but the spaces between the bars are a little too wide and my words are crafty too. 


I begin to formulate a plan that would make me The Boss again; a plan that involves lots of laundry. 


I strip down the kids, gather our loads, and I push the magic button.


 NOTHING happens. 


Does this machine not know that there is a war going on? An enemy threatening to take over our camp?!? I will never be able to keep up now!


Much frustration, two repairmen, several electricians, a couple of new machines, and eight weeks later, I am finally submerged in The Parable of God's Washing:




I had tried to find a comfortable place again, to make myself a refuge, but Sneaky Dirt knew the way.


 Life's Storms came too- dare I say they were given my forwarding address? Told they could stop by?


My Dirt and Life's Storms joined forces and really made a mess of things.


I made plans for counter attack.


I mustered my strength
and I tried to wash away what lingered. 


Nothing. 


Apparently, I really needed a reminder.


How thankful this momma of five is for the chance to do laundry in her own home again.


How thankful I am for a life that seems so out of control some days.


How thankful I am to know The One who is in control.


I am so glad that God loves us like the messy children we are and offers to make us clean.

Master of Disguise

Everyone knows that if you

go incognito

mom will never catch on.

Friction

Who I want to want to be and the reality of me have been bumping up against eachother a lot lately.

This has caused friction and friction is uncomfortable and makes me want to get out from under it.

Nothing has brought this to a head like the idea of Christmas; At times I have truly just wished I could wake up tomorrow and discover that it is January first.


I don't want to feel this way.
I want the gift of Jesus to be enough for our family.
Not in a resigned yeah-well-Jesus-is-the-reason-for-the-season sort of way, either.


I want my children to experience the reality of His love and I want that Love to move us to serve others.


I  need to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the reality of His love.


I want to be content and have a heart that is grateful instead of focusing on what is missing lately. 


I want this to be my reality, but it is not.


Instead I have felt like hiding so that I don't have to experience the disappointment my children may feel when they realize that Christmas may not be the way they remember it being. I have had to bite my tongue so as not to say something that might quench their joy.


It is not even really as much about the 'stuff' as it is about not knowing how to do things differently; about not knowing how to re-adjust our focus to what is real.


I do want to be able to give to my children, but mostly I am bothered by the fact that I don't know how to give them what matters most.

That is what saddens me.

Shouldn't this have been our emphasis from the start?

If their were no pretty gifts around the tree, shouldn't we still be in awe of The Baby in the Manger?
Shouldn't this Everything be enough?

I am praying about how to do this.

How do you claim the season for Christ?


Dear Lord,
Help me to know that You are enough. Help me to offer up a sacrifice of praise to you that You may be glorified in my home and wherever you send me.

Amen

All Tied Up

Every time I sit at my computer to pen anything longer than a status update on Facebook, there is one image that comes to mind: the pull cords to my sons' window blinds.

Odd, I know. Why?

Well it seems that no matter how many attempts I make to separate those strings, so that light can be given to the insides of our walls and our own vision expanded beyond what is immediatly before us, those things are always quick to find eachother again.

Not unlike the jumbledness in my head; each thought its unique strand but knotted together so convincingly that it is difficult to know where to begin tugging; the result being that no one is permitted to see in and no one is able to see out.

When this occurs, I know that nothing is going to happen if I don't start somewhere.

So, here I go.

I am just going to start pulling here-and-there to see where that gets us, okay?

Cause, well... it is dark in here.


Summer:
Many areas of my life this summer simply could not be improved upon. I have no regrets about how much living our family was able to squeeze out of June, July, and August.

There was lots of swimming and jumping and running and biking and just a lot of all-around-having-a-good-time-ing going on. The absolute highlight, by far though, was this special place (that won't link-for me) called Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch. I am not even exactly sure how our family ended up there, but God got us there somehow and from the moment I set foot onto their property I knew we were there because God knows every detail about us and knew exactly what our family needed.

This is not the last time you will here about it from me, for sure.

My Blog:
I am mix'n things up around here and though I can't manage to write on even one blog, I have decided to break things up into two blogs. Eventually 'Lollygag' will be my homeschool blog and 'Duct Tape Chronicles' will be more about what God is doing in my own heart.

So if you started out as my homeschool friend and your link has suddenly disappeared from this site, rest assured that I am just rearranging the furniture and you are seated comfortably elsewhere.

Employment & Such:
This is a doozey. Even the knots have knots on this strand.

Knot One:
Steve and I are still really enjoying working at the same place. We probably both have the best full-time work schedules in the world with him working Thursday nights and Saturday/Sunday days (each shift being at least 12 hours) and me working all night shifts Friday through Sunday. It may mean that we don't see each other at all on the weekend but then our entire family gets to spend our days together Monday through Friday. On top of the amazing schedule, The Boy gets to do things like mountain biking, or hiking, or building model rockets with some cool young adult and he gets paid for it.

Sp (oi) led.

Knot Two:
The hope for such a nice schedule is that this will allow him to begin pursuing what he is really passionate about, and that is photography.

He likes the outdoorsy stuff, but has become a big fan of a man who does humanitarian photography and (who we just found out) has also taught for YWAM's School of Photography. This gets me all goose-bumpy (and a little nervous) because before I married my feller God had me at working with YWAM  and I had always hoped that my family would someday be involved in serving together somehow.
In recent years I have almost abandoned this dream.

I don't know what any of this might look like, but God is reminding me that He always finishes what He starts. 


Knot Three:
While many aspects of Steve's new job have been WONDERFUL there have also been some new realities that we are struggling to adjust to. The fact is, even though we are thanking God for the job, Steve took the position knowing that he would be making less than he did even on unemployment and about half of what he once earned in his old profession. We did this believing that work is honorable, and that God would be faithful to make up the difference. There were some other decisions made that followed this thinking too (that I may share at another time) but in the mean time we knew that we would need to do our part in further reducing our expenses, so we gave notice and 'found' something more affordable.

Believe me, that sounded a lot more effortless than it actually was.

We are moved in now and are working out the kinks. I think the place will suit us well while we are here. We have a lot of healing and growing and trusting to do yet, and I get the impression that it is not going to be all smooth-sailing, but for now I am practicing gratitude and I am so thankful that God has no problems making sense of the knots.