Poured Out

"...[the] power of prayer can never be overrated. They who cannot serve God by preaching need not regret. If a man can but pray he can do anything. He who knows how to overcome with God in prayer has Heaven and earth at his disposal." Charles H. Spurgeon

I carry yesterday's conversation around in my heart, revealing it to nobody, not even my husband. It is too big and too heavy to be named just yet; even I am not sure what it all means. The weight of it causes my everything to ache but I am not ready to pour it out for others to share.

I have listened to another's burdens and walked away feeling so small, so inadequate, so without resources or answers.

I am wondering at what point I will know if my prayers are to become action or if my prayers are action enough?

What does that look like, anyway?

Am I trying to micro-manage or is this a God-nudge?

All I know is that there is a family hurting and a young girl who does not come home anymore on  weekends or until past dark on school nights. She is not doing well in so many ways, and her absences put her in danger.

She is just 13, I think to myself.

Every day after school I can't stop wondering where she is and I pray for her protection. I resist the urge  to call her mother and see, because I know the answer.

Is she home?

I want to bring her home myself because that is what you do with your children.
You go get them.

I have been praying like mad that the fellowship that is completely absent in that home be restored. I want to see a family healed.

I want to love them all, but I don't even know what that means.